...Little thoughts...

Hari bahagia

jessiearenwan — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:34:45 +0000

Buat Ruzanna Robuan,

Semoga berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu.

I’m still breathing

jessiearenwan — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 02:53:04 +0000

I leave the gas on
Walk the allies in the dark
Sleep with candles burning
I leave the door unlocked
I’m weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Did I get your attention
Cause I’m sending
All the signs and
The clock is ticking
And I’ll be giving
My 2 weeks

Pick your favorite
Shade of black
You’d best
Prepare a speech
Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don’t say
That you loved me

Cause I’m still breathing
Though we’ve been
Dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We’re goin down for sure
Already lost a grip
Best abandon ship

Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you wanted better
Better luck off in the sack
No formal education
And I swore way too much
But I swear
You didn’t fucking care
Cause we were in love

So as I write this letter
And she’d my last tear
No, it’s all for the better
That we end this this year
Let’s close this chapter
Say one last prayer
But don’t say
That you loved me

I’m still breathing
I’m still breathing

A day in a office

jessiearenwan — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 02:34:50 +0000

1010am

Few cases need to be finished by today

X-XXXXXX-JAN50LTK-JHD-00015693 -planning stage. Might takes 20-25 min. This is the easiest and the fastest stage in my work.
X_XXXXXX-JAN33LTK-T_K-09011313 -segmentation stage. half way done. Still got 1-2 hours to finish it.
XXXXXXXX-DEC47RTK-PDS-00000000-segmentation stage. new case assigned yesterday. 4-5 hours more to go.

So, basically, I need to be super stone girl today. Looking my wide screeen pc.Atleast for 6 hours. Can I make it? Lets wait and see.

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1106am

Planning a bit late from schedule. Yun Han sat next to me, to see how I did my planning. By the way, she’s my mentee. so I need to teach her few tips and tricks to make sure she can do faster.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

411pm

Finished my half way segmentation. I don’t think i can finish the other one. But I hope that i can atleast do half way just like this one. Furthermore, i was checking Yun Han’s cases too. Few mistakes there and there but still consider as okay. And one more thing…though I am quite occupied at this moment, there is no way i don’t have time for facebook and this blogging thing. heheheh..

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

630pm

Seperti yang dijangka, keja tak siap! hehehehe…but atleast i already did half way. I will finish it up tomorrow. Now I have to go back home and will go to MidValley straight away to take my passport size-picture. It’s for my unit trust license. gtg now! challo!!

Better week

jessiearenwan — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 10:03:29 +0000

A new week has begun with good energy level and hopes for better result at work when it comes at the end of the day. But, there are times when the mind says it’s enough and refuses to work at all. But then again, that kind of mind still want to work but not that ‘work’ that use to be. You know what i mean. my work needs me to stay stone in front of pc screen doing this segmentation, editing, planning, designing knee guide for surgeon. Basically,it‘s a repetitive work and I’m starting to get bored with this work. Somehow, i feel like I need more, something different, challenging enough for me as an engineer. Well, i guess i have to wait for that opportunity to come. I’m trying right now but still no luck. I guess this resection recession thing effects everything, everyone’s life, including me! But of course, we have to be greatful for what we are now. When I look back I envy those good years of my life. The world has changed my outlook towards so many aspects of life that things are not the same anymore but still I am so thankful to have all the love ones with me riding this not so new but yet different world. Ermmhh… betul ker ayat aku nie? hehehe. Anyway..I’m off from my real work at this moment. New work begin… blogging…face book..and still open my friendster. Heheheh. Till my mind starts thinking again…

p/s:Phrase of the day..Live your life to the fullest!!

Stay still ya…challo!

Tears are the proof of life

jessiearenwan — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:12:00 +0000

“How long will the pain last?” a broken-hearted mourner asked me. “All the rest of your life.” I had to answer truthfully. We never quite forget. No matter how many years pass, we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation; part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives. This does not mean that the pain continues at the same intensity. There is a short while, at first, when we hardly believe it; it is rather like when we cut our hand. We see the blood flowing, but the pain has not set in yet. So when we are bereaved, there is a short while before the pain hits us. But when it does, it is massive in its effect. Grief is shattering. Then the wound begins to heal. It is like going through a dark tunnel. Occasionally we glimpse a bit of light up ahead, then we lose sight of it awhile, then see it again, and one day we merge into the light. We are able to laugh, to care, to live. The wound is healed so to speak. The stitches are taken out, and we are whole again. But not quite. The scar is still there, and the scar tissue, too. As the years go by, we manage. There are things to do, people to care for, and tasks that call for full attention. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that has echoes, see a photograph in someone’s album, see a landscape that once we saw together, and it as though the knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully, and mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow; it brings back happiness with it. As a matter of fact, we even seek such moments in bittersweet remembrance. We have our religious memories and our memorial days, and our visits to the cemetery. And though these bring back the pain, they bring back memories of joy as well.
How long will the pain last? All the rest of you life. But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are the proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this were true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether? For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

-Author unknown-

p/s: this entry is specially dedicated to my uncle Anyie and family who just loss their most precious person in their life, my aunt Helen Lah on Feb 5th. One of the fondest memories of my late Nei Len is of the kindness and gentleness she showed to our big family.Nei Len will be missed dearly and her family will feel the pain the most but a few words from heart would at least mellow their sorrows and begin the process of healing.May God give my uncle and his family the strength to go through this difficult time. Although it is difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,but may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.May her soul rest in peace.

Twilight fan

jessiearenwan — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 03:27:59 +0000

Am I twilight fan? Wrong question. Am I going to be twilight fan? That’s the right question for me. I haven’t watch the movie…even the books.. Sue keeps bugging me to watch the movies few months back and keeps sending me the youtube links to listen the audio version of this movie. She watched the movie few times and currently she’s very exciting reading the books. I’m not sure which one.. I think it ‘s the ‘Moon” one. Story about Edward,I guess.Am I right Sue? Wish that she reads this blog. Hahaha..mengumpat (not the bad one) my own good friend. by the way, she managed to buy the DVD version of the movie and happily passed the dvd to me so that i can save a copy in my computer. So, maybe when I am boring or free,I will try to watch the movie.

p/s : Even my colleague.Nani is addicted to the books rite now. Thanks to you,ya Sue! I’ll stuck forever with this vampire love story, listening how romantic the stories from both of you..

Just a little thought…

jessiearenwan — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:45:23 +0000

I guess this is it. My new blog, my new thing, my another chapter of my life..might be boring but atleast it’s mine. I’m still figuring out the best theme for my blog, the suitable color, captions, etc etc…So far, I kind of like this theme. Simple but nice to see. Not too heavy,the color might be a little bit gloomy but still it captured my eyes. So,I’ll stick to this theme for now. Who knows there will be much much more interesting theme that i can pick up later. Anyway,I did have few blogs but i guess I was not really satisfied with them. That is why this …little thoughts… come alive! but still i like the troublesome that i had to face when creating those blogs. beautiful dreamer is my 1st blog-personal.i don’t know why I created this blog actually.Maybe I can talk about it later in this my newly wordpress blog? Hehehehe..Atleast i can add up the numbers of my post, right? Well, and then, almost white is my 2nd blog which is more towards my hobbies…hehehe..but still under construction actually. And once again I’ll talk about the ‘asal usul’ why these two blogs were created.You can check them out actually. But anyway, i think i still want to keep those blogs..who knows what may come with this new wordpress blog,rite? Till my fingers meeting this keyboard again! Daa..